A Simple Kind of Man

In addition to the preparations for Alaska, a lot has been on my mind. They all deal with the future, and the personal value of societal norms, specifically ones dealing with "The American Dream". I've questioned the ideas of home ownership, marriage and parenthood extensively through the spectrum of my upcoming career and through the lens of myself.

Although my parents have been very supportive of my upcoming endeavors, they also seem convinced I'm going to settle down one day and enter the mainstream notion of the American Dream. They assume my leading tours is not a lifelong career but rather another piece to the bigger picture. The simplest answer I can give is none of us really know.

My dad argues I should own a home to show that "I've made it." Show who? I don't need to prove to anybody that I've made it, because my finances are no one's business but my own. Why flaunt them? Satisfaction is a relevant term. I don't expect to ever pull in an annual six-figure, or more, income, and I'm perfectly fine with that. For my goals and lifestyle, buying a home is a tremendous waste of money.

My mom, at times, likes to shift the topic to my getting married one day. I've never been any good with women, and I don't see that changing anytime soon because quite frankly, the desire to work on that skill is on the back burner. In my fatter days, I used to lament about loneliness, lack of confidence that plagued me for as long as I could remember and never having a girlfriend and all of that jazz. Then I found direction in my life, lost a lot of weight, and embraced the gift of independence and realized my neediness for a companion was merely a reflection of stagnation. Like satisfaction, loneliness is a relevant term. Along with the high divorce rates, seeing how miserable some of my friends really are, or have been, in relationships, and my desire for independence, the possibility of marriage dwindles to a drop on the freeway.

What about the right of passage into adulthood known as parenthood? I don't like kids that much, and having my own won't change that. I don't relate to them. They're extremely expensive to care for and require a massive amount of patience I don't harbor. Being the only child in the family with no brothers, sisters, or cousins, this is a major conflicting point, because I am the sole responsibility of continuing the family line. However, bringing a child into the world simply to continue the family line is no reason to do so.

Bottom line, if I'm not willing to give it my all in these three, classic American Dream scenarios, I won't pursue them. My American Dream doesn't involve settling down in a 9-5 job with a house in the suburbs, a happy-go-lucky wife and kids to play catch with, because that's a romanticized scenario of what it's really like. Traveling, furthering my education, pursuing my current interests, experiencing new people, ideas and activities, getting to know myself, living a simple life and being a simple kind of man, that's my American Dream.

Obviously, I'm only a young 25 and anything is indeed possible. However, whether we desire that house in the suburbs and family, or to experience life independently, we have to be true to ourselves. In some respect, that can be one of the most difficult challenges life throws at us. In the end, if we succeed, the rewards are endless.