Readjusting to the Past

Home is where your heart is. My heart is in the world, so that must mean my home is there.

But for those who believe in tangible definitions and shun abstraction, Texas is the epicenter of my home. I love my epicenter, but I feel these days it's simply more focused on the past then the future. Then again, staying in the moment, for now, in this portal to the past, is fine considering I was able to spend Thanksgiving, and now Christmas and New Years with my family.

But I continue to try and put the pieces together for a career involving traveling. Tour management, travel photographer, something! The idea of teaching English overseas hasn't been ruled out either (although it's a last resort). A good friend of mine has offered me a position as a tour guide with his new company but that won't be a possible reality until July (but it's definitely a consideration).

But here, San Antonio, where I've built 20 of my 25 years on this earth, seems to choke out any inspiration. I feel like I'm constantly being injected with lethargy as addicting as heroin, as potent as wasabi up the nose and sadistically and destructively slow like sulfuric acid. I keep saying I'll be out of here, yet, here I am. I guess I'm just readjusting to the past, awaiting my ticket out of here.

No regrets. I care a lot for my family and friends and knowing I have a place to return to for solitude. I hope everyone understands that first and foremost.

When will I find the right combination to unlock that ticket? Maybe, hopefully, sooner then later.